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THE POEM WHERE I FIND OUT WHAT BELONGING IS by Muna Ahmed



as I sit here in my little room

with four grey walls

I ask myself the question

every high school graduate asks themselves:


where do I belong?

the question I often ask myself

when I feel out of place


is it between these walls I call home

these walls that house the people I know to love most


would it be in the sidewalks of this familiar place I have grown to be fond off

or the graffiti on the wall that hold stories of people from different walks of life

who have left pieces of themselves around the world to start fresh

just to find out that belonging might not even be a place but maybe a feeling

which brings me back to the question: where do I belong? as in where do I really belong?


you see in these streets of Toronto

that hold a soft breeze

and a smell of fresh coffee

is where I feel like I belong


but what makes me really belong here?

perhaps it’s the way all the tall buildings cast shadows over the civilians

perhaps it’s all the lights that make it seem like the city never sleeps

or maybe I only feel like I belong because it’s in my comfort zone


so do I really belong?

or am I just afraid of thinking I do?

and finding out that I actually don’t

leaving me to start from scratch, feeling clueless, and nothing short of a waste of space


but in that I guess I get to find out who I really am

you see they say it’s all about perspective

maybe that’s the reason why I do not know who I am or where I am going


maybe my perspective of thinking that where I live has to be equivalent to where I belong is

wrong

possibly like those from different places

you must understand that belonging isn't always a physical location, but rather an emotion.

a once-in-a-lifetime type of feeling; like the love that leaves you feeling secured

or the feeling that lets you know you belong gets ignited from the place we’ve grown from

perhaps it is all related intertwined like an old tale

and everyone has a different journey to find it

perhaps my journey is hidden between these buildings that are as tall as giants in fairy tales


between each person who is a different art piece with a different meaning


maybe if I step out and look at this place I call home

this place filled with people with life


this place that has molded me into who I am

and look at it in pieces instead of a whole

I will realize that a piece of me belongs here but it is not what makes me belong


the thought that we had to belong at our homes

just because it was always there for you does not mean that’s where you belong

choose to belong where you feel most like you


the feeling of belonging; like home is not a place

but a sense of ease

that is what belonging is

No matter if it’s with your person or tall buildings

or in these graffitied walls

find where you belong


going back to my main question: where do I belong?

I guess that depends on the heart and where I feel like home or most like me

because I feel like that right now in these crowded streets of Toronto


but who knows where else I belong or what my future holds for me


I guess the best advice would be following your gut and going where it takes you

because who knows you may belong in places you never thought of

and places you never imagined

places that didn’t align

you never know what the future holds

So don’t follow a plan when you don’t know the unexpected

find belonging in places that you never thought you would

because that seems to be the best place with the best versions of yourself


So where do I belong?

more like where does my heart choose to belong

in that case my heart chooses to belong in the unexpected



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